Wednesday, November 08, 2006

My next argument for Phil 334

If pirates are better than ninjas then they will meet more of the revised criteria for awesomeness than ninjas.

Some definitions:
Pirate - One who commits piracy by engaging in robbery, pillaging, or plundering at sea.
Ninja -A spy and/or assassin in feudal Japan.
Cool – Adjective meaning excellent; first-rate.
Awesomeness – Noun meaning the quality of being very impressive.

P1 – Wearing all black is cool.
A.Ninjas wear all black due to the need for stealth.
B.Pirates can''''t wear black because it is bleached out by the sun.
C. Wearing black is part of the revised criteria for awesomeness.

P2 – The habit of having a parrot on your shoulder is cool.
A.Ninjas generally do not have parrots. There are no parrots in Japan.
B.Pirates have a tradition of wearing parrots on their shoulders.
C.Having a parrot on your shoulder is part of the revised criteria for awesomeness.

P3 – Having your own refined fighting style is cool.
A.Ninjas know Kung F u. Kung Fu is a refined fighting style.
B.Pirates have little or no refinement in their fighting style.
C.Having a refined fighting style is a part of the revised criteria for awesomeness.

P4 – Being a profession that has been personified by Jackie Chan is cool.
A.Ninjas have been personified by Jackie Chan.
a. see Rush Hour, Mr. Nice Guy; Shenghai Knights.
B.Pirates have not been personified by Jackie Chan.
C.Being a profession that has been personified by Jackie Chan is a part of the revised criteria for awesomeness.

P5 – Drinking Rum is cool.
A.Ninjas do not drink rum. It deadens their reflexes.
B.Pirates drink copious amounts of rum. Yo ho.
C.Drinking rum is a part of the revised criteria for awesomeness.

Pirates meet two of the revised criteria for awesomeness. Ninjas meet three of the revised criteria for awesomeness. Three is more than two so Ninjas are better than pirates.

7 comments:

JavaBomberman said...

finally some real logic. go ninja go ninja go.

Anonymous said...

Ninjas know ninjitsu, actually. :D I <3 giving you a hard time.

Good point on the parrots, though. Squawking birds aren't good for stealthy Ninja.

Drink up, me hearties, yo ho!

JavaBomberman said...

not all ninjas know ninjitsu.

I'm not saying any names Rock Lee.

DYNAMIC ENTRY!!

Poke said...

Kung Fu is a large group of wildly divergent CHINESE martial art forms.

Again with females and the China/japan thing.... speaking of which, hans we need to do something about Janeen.


Additionally, having an unrefined fighting style can rule. Look at Berserkergang, Running Amok, and the ever popular Warp Spasm.

JavaBomberman said...

how could you forget Brawling Killing Winning style?

and yes, we need to do something about janeen.

Poke said...

hans I think you just offered the solution to our Janeen problem

JavaBomberman said...

owning cars with our fists? I'm in.